Above all else...

I think I learn new lessons quite frequently. It's part of being curious... or nosy. Being in Canada alone for so many weeks has taught me a million life-lessons. I knew it would be a challenge when I took this new job, leaving before Todd's transfer was complete. But I'm a big girl, a strong woman, I can handle this on my own, right? Wrong! Am I strong? Absolutely. Am I confident? Definitely. Did I make the right decision? No doubt about it. Is this easy? Heck no. I am blessed in that it's never been more than five days or so without Savannah... but travelling for an entire week, week in week out, is tiring. Living out of a suitcase is getting old. Eating out has lost its appeal. It's downright exhausting. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. I'm drained. In fact, I could probably be classified as a trainwreck.

Todd and Savannah came for a visit this weekend. Mind you, I was home two weeks ago for an entire week, so I've only been in Toronto since Sunday. Yet, when I found out Friday morning that they might not make the trip this weekend, I had a breakdown. In my car. In the parking lot at work. Very professional. It snowed in Canada on Friday. There's an ice storm in Michigan today. The weather gods are definitely not on my side. After my breakdown Friday morning, Todd realized just how important it was to get to me this weekend. Of course, that didn't keep me from fighting back the tears all day at work. It's a catch-22... I get to spend 48 precious hours with my family, which is amazing... but then they have to go home and I have to stay here until I get to make the drive home on Friday.

I relished in every moment I had with my little one. I came "home" from work a little early Friday afternoon to cuddle on the couch with Savannah. We eventually made our way over to Dave & Buster's for dinner. Upon our return from dinner, we put on our jammies, turned on a Dora DVD, and crawled into bed... promptly followed by lights out at 8:30. I fell asleep with my 3 year-old baby rubbing my back. Saturday was very low-key but so fun-filled. We went to IKEA. We braved a Super Wal-Mart, 17 days before Christmas. We ate dinner at Burger King, where it took Savannah half an hour to eat three chicken nuggets. We went to Marble Slab Creamery for dessert, apparently identifying ourselves as Americans the minute Todd ordered a malt. We came back to the hotel and cuddled some more. This morning included a trip to Chapters, Canada's version of Borders, with some coffee for mom & dad and drinkable strawberry yogurt for Savannah. Then Todd loaded the car, took Savannah by the hand, and headed back to Michigan.

And I've been a basketcase ever since. I'm a career-woman. A hard-worker. It's not at all unusual for me to spend an hour or two working at home at night, and that's after spending a full 8 hours working at the office. This weekend, I think my priorities were set straight. This weekend I realized, above all else, that I am a Mommy. Savannah's not going to be a toddler forever. She's not always going to want to sit next to me at lunch or hold my hand in the parking lot or rub my back at bedtime. When I say "I love you", she's not always going to put a huge grin on her face and say "I love you too". These are the moments to treasure. Work will be work. There's a time and a place. And it will all get done... eventually. Savannah, however, I can't control. She's going to grow up. She's going to become her own person. She's going to go to college and get married and have her own little babies. And I know that's so far down the road... years and years and years from now. But I also know that those moments will come in what seems like the blink of an eye. I generally get 48 hours a week with my little princess; 48 hours where I'm often pre-occupied with other thoughts. No longer. This is the new me. This is the me that's meant to be a Mommy. This is the me that is going to love and adore and cuddle my little princess.